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Résumé for HORATIO (later ADMIRAL LORD) NELSON
SKILLS
- Climbs ships' masts and rigging.
- Shoots small guns and cannon.
- Wields daggers, swords and clubs.
- Navigates rivers and oceans.
- Commands ships and navies.
- Creates military strategies and executes military maneuvers. (despite poor, sickly physique, an over-sensitive temperament, mother's death at age 9, and the absence of one right arm and one right eye.)
EDUCATION
- Norwich
- Downham Market
- Poston Grammar School
- British Royal Navy Midshipman's School
- Apprenticed to uncle Maurice Suckling aboard his ship the Raisonnable and his merchantman Triumph (commanded its tender at the age of 14).
- Joined the ship Carcass as coxswain of the captain's gig.
EXPERIENCE
- Tried to club Arctic polar bear to death when attacked by the beast, but it escaped.
- Survived stormy seas, cannon broadsides and military engagements (on occasion simultaneously).
- Won a few battles, including Trafalgar and the Nile.
- Defeated one emperor.
- Conquered several female hearts.
- Sired an illegitimate daughter.
REFERENCES
Toynbee, Arnold. Complete Works.
Durant, Will and Ariel. The Story of Civilization.
Brooks, Mel. History of the World, Part I
NB: This is an example of a redundant résumé, superfluous because this candidate's actions were more eloquent than his résumé. In declining to present a résumé upon demand, one may say, "My résumé is not yet as good as I am." This is always true, since a résumé is merely a piece of paper.